Mark Twain Quotes

The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

In the Spring,

I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.

Be careful about reading health books.

You may die of a misprint.

All generalizations are false,

including this one.

The right word may be effective,

but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

We have the best government that money can buy.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at

the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

Climate is what we expect,

weather is what we get.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.

I know because I've done it thousands of times.

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

The human race has one really effective weapon,

and that is laughter.

Everything human is pathetic.

The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow.

There is no humor in heaven.

You can't depend on your eyes

when your imagination is out of focus.

Buy land,

they're not making it anymore.

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

Part of the secret of a success in life

is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.