Mark Twain Quotes

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

The man who does not read good books

has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

It is curious that physical courage

should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.

Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very';

your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell

you see, I have friends in both places.

There are lies,

damned lies and statistics.

It usually takes me more than three weeks to

prepare a good impromptu speech.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which,

before their union,

were not perceived to have any relation.

Let us endeavor so to live so that when,

we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Facts are stubborn,

but statistics are more pliable.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me,

but I think she enjoyed it.

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

Clothes make the man.

Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

It were not best that we should all think alike;

it is difference of opinion that makes horse races.

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.

When in doubt tell the truth.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country ,

we have those three unspeakably precious things,

freedom of conscience,

and the prudence never to practice either of them.

There are basically two types of people.

People who accomplish things,

and people who claim to have accomplished things.

The first group is less crowded.