Mark Twain Quotes

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look,

it's a sure sign you're getting old.

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.

Only one thing is impossible for God:

To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Principles have no real force except

when one is well fed.

Don't part with your illusions.

When they are gone,

you may still exist,

but you have ceased to live.

Honesty is the best policy

when there is money in it.

Thunder is good,

thunder is impressive;

but it is lightning that does the work.

When we remember we are all mad,

the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things

you cannot learn any other way.

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

It is better to deserve honors

and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.

Patriot: the person who can holler

the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

Laws control the lesser man...

Right conduct controls the greater one.

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction.

Fiction has to make sense.

Under certain circumstances,

urgent circumstances,

desperate circumstances,

profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.

Travel is fatal to prejudice,

bigotry, and narrow mindedness,

and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do.

Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

When angry, count to four;

when very angry, swear.

When you fish for love,

bait with your heart,

not your brain.

A man is never more truthful than

when he acknowledges himself a liar.