Mark Twain Quotes

When people do not respect us we are sharply offended;

yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.

Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

Truth is the most valuable thing we have.

Let us economize it.

Better a broken promise than none at all.

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral?

It is because we are not the person involved.

Do not tell fish stories where the people know you;

but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.

Grief can take care if itself,

but to get the full value of a joy

you must have somebody to divide it with.

Few things are harder to put up with than

the annoyance of a good example.

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.

But who prays for Satan?

Who, in eighteen centuries,

has had the common humanity

to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

Against the assault of laughter,

nothing can stand.

Prophesy is a good line of business,

but it is full of risks.

Noise proves nothing.

Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as

if she laid an asteroid.

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.

I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835.

It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it.

It will be the greatest disappointment of my life

if I don't go out with Halley's Comet.

The Almighty has said,

no doubt: 'Now here are these two unaccountable freaks;

they came in together, they must go out together.'

Loyalty to the Nation all the time,

loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.

Many a small thing has been made large

by the right kind of advertising.

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles...

by the ears,

by the heels,

or any other way you can manage it.

The difference between the almost right word

and the right word is really a large matter

'tis the difference between the lightning

bug and the lightning.

There is a charm about the forbidden

that makes it unspeakably desirable.