Mark Twain Quotes

A person with a new idea

is a crank until the idea succeeds.

If the world comes to an end,

I want to be in Cincinnati.

Everything comes there ten years later.

I have been complimented many times

and they always embarrass me;

I always feel that they have not said enough.

Name the greatest of all inventors.

Accident.

The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r',

except at the beginning of a word.

Often it does seem such a pity

that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

The more you explain it,

the more I don't understand it.

I was seldom able to see an opportunity

until it had ceased to be one.

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity.

Another man's, I mean.

The main difference between a cat and a lie

is that a cat only has nine lives.

Man is the only animal that blushes

or needs to.

The rule is perfect:

in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls

while they are still rolling.

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered

either by themselves or by others.

Words are only painted fire;

a look is the fire itself.

God made the Idiot for practice,

and then He made the School Board.

Only kings,

presidents,

editors,

and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'

There are times when one would like to hang

the whole human race, and finish the farce.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

I have never taken any exercise,

except sleeping and resting,

and I never intend to take any.