Mark Twain Quotes

Man will do many things to get himself loved,

he will do all things to get himself envied.

I never let schooling interfere with my education.

No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.

Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

The human race is a race of cowards;

and I am not only marching in that procession

but carrying a banner.

The first of April is the day

we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

It was wonderful to find America,

but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

Lord save us all from old age

and broken health and a hope tree

that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.

In 'Huckleberry Finn,'

I have drawn Tom Blankenship exactly as he was.

He was ignorant, unwashed,

insufficiently fed;

but he had as good a heart as ever any boy had.

The Public is merely a multiplied 'me.'

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away.

He must have time to modify his shape.

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.

Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.

One of the most striking differences between a cat

and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow;

there is no humor in Heaven.

It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation,

played with confidence,

stands a good chance to deceive.

What sir,

would the people of the earth be without woman?

They would be scarce, sir,

almighty scarce.

Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man.

The biography of the man himself cannot be written.

Truth is mighty and will prevail.

There is nothing wrong with this,

except that it ain't so.

It is easier to stay out than get out.