10000+ Motivational and Inspiring Quotes About Life, Love & Success

I met the surgeon general

he offered me a cigarette.

What a dog I got,

his favorite bone is in my arm.

My cousin's gay, he went to London

only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.

My marriage is on the rocks again,

yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and

they sent a piece of my finger to my father.

He said he wanted more proof.

My mother never breast fed me,

she told me she only liked me as a friend.

It's tough to stay married.

My wife kisses the dog on the lips,

yet she won't drink from my glass.

When I was born I was so ugly

the doctor slapped my mother.

War

An act of violence whose object is to constrain the enemy,

to accomplish our will.

The time is near at hand which must determine

whether Americans are to be free men or slaves.

I walk on untrodden ground.

There is scarcely any part of my conduct,

which may not hereafter be drawn into precedent.

The basis of our political system is the right of

the people to make and to alter their constitutions of government.

If we desire to avoid insult,

we must be able to repel it;

if we desire to secure peace,

one of the most powerful instruments of our rising prosperity,

it must be known,

that we are at all times ready for War.

Let your heart feel for the afflictions and distress of everyone,

and let your hand give in proportion to your purse.

It is impossible to reason without arriving at a Supreme Being.

My observation is that

whenever one person is found adequate to the discharge of a duty...

it is worse executed by two persons,

and scarcely done at all if three or more are employed therein.

There is nothing which can better deserve your patronage,

than the promotion of science and literature.

Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness.

The constitution vests the power of declaring war in Congress;

therefore no offensive expedition of importance can be undertaken

until after they shall have deliberated

upon the subject and authorized such a measure.

Mankind,

when left to themselves,

are unfit for their own government.

It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.