Mark Twain Quotes

Water, taken in moderation,

cannot hurt anybody.

Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction?

Fiction,

after all,

has to make sense.

Familiarity breeds contempt and children.

We Americans...

bear the ark of liberties of the world.

Ideally a book would have no order to it,

and the reader would have to discover his own.

Repartee is something we think of twenty

four hours too late.

All right,

then,

I'll go to hell.

What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words!

His real life is led in his head,

and is known to none but himself.

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.

How lucky Adam was.

He knew when he said a good thing,

nobody had said it before.

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other,

so we can have some conversation.

Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.

She was not quite what you would call refined.

She was not quite what you would call unrefined.

She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call

an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.

Don't say the old lady screamed.

Bring her on and let her scream.

Few of us can stand prosperity.

Another man's, I mean.

Good breeding consists in concealing

how much we think of ourselves and

how little we think of the other person.

If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man,

but deteriorate the cat.

Humor must not professedly teach

and it must not professedly preach,

but it must do both if it would live forever.

My books are like water;

those of the great geniuses are wine.

(Fortunately) everybody drinks water.